


A Very Elvish and Gnome-y Christmas

by Sialia_currucoides



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6500776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sialia_currucoides/pseuds/Sialia_currucoides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse's organizing a Christmas Eve party at the Wests. Catch: Everyone has to be in a costume she picked.<br/>Note: Zoom is dead. Wally and Jesse do not have any powers (Or Harrison for the matter). Wally knows about Flash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Elvish and Gnome-y Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: They're a little out of character since it was meant as humor and it's a little paced?  
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Flash or the characters. The whole ex-military thing is the fandom's (at least Harry's) musings.

“This is so ridiculous!” Cisco laughed, bells dangling from his very green hair as he shook his head. “I can’t believe you got us into this, Jesse. I can’t believe you got Harry into this! You’re a Goddess!”  
Jesse posed with a haughty smile but ended up laughing and high-fived Cisco.  
“Harry is the only one whose costume is even a little bit decent.” Caitlin commented from her very white and snowy perch.  
“There is Santa Claus but I guess Dad got off easy. He only needed to wear a hat. And colors.” Jesse added as an afterthought.  
“The store was already out of elf costumes! There were no adult pieces left.” Iris stepped around the dinner table and joined them at the sofas.  
“Oh! Egg nog! Yeah, baby!” Cisco handed out the glasses to Caitlin, Jesse and took one for himself.  
“Speaking of.” Caitlin wiped off the foam dripping over her forehead. “Where are the men?”  
“I take offense to that!” Cisco raised his eggnog in protest and ended up dripping it all over Caitlin who pursed her lips.  
“You’re a very unique man Cisco.” Iris soothed in between laughs.  
“And you got the snowflakes dirty! I spent hours making them!” Jesse complained and looked around for a spare cloth.  
“I’ll head to the restroom.” Caitlin stood up, wiping herself again and mixing the nog with the foam. “Ugh” she shuddered.  
“We’ll come along.” Jesse instantly started hovering around Caitlin.  
“And look what those boys are up to. Are you coming Cisco?” Iris asked, walking towards the stairs.  
“Angels we have heard on high!” Cisco laughed referring to Iris’ white frock and wings.

.  
.  
.

“I don’t know why you’re complaining. At least your belly button doesn’t show!” Barry waved his hands at a red and white striped candy cane Joe.  
“You sure about that?” Joe pointed a candy to the spandex sticking to his belly.  
“Oh come on Joe. It’s Christmas!” Henry patted him on the back.  
“You’re one to talk Santa.” Joe pulled at his fake beard in revenge.  
“Ho Ho Ho”  
“At least your faces are fine.” Wally rubbed at his red blushed cheeks and lipstick Iris had poured over him.  
“Neighed Wally the Reindeer.” Joe mocked.  
“Reindeers don’t neigh. Horses neigh.” Barry crossed his arms and slumped on the bed next to Harrison.  
“What sounds do they make?” Joe pulled a scarf and a jacket out of his closet.  
Henry made some low, growling noises.  
“I’m absolutely not making those sounds.” Wally wetted his handkerchief and dabbed it on his face. “Why is this make-up not coming off?” he complained.  
“It’s Iris’” Barry reasoned. “And really Wally, you’re not the only one with make-up. She went at all of us.”  
“She only put eyeliner on you, not pink splotches on your cheek.” Wally protested.  
“That’s probably because his cheeks are already red.” Joe and Henry laughed.  
“If you guys had to be half-naked on a cold Christmas Eve maybe you wouldn’t have needed make-up either.” Barry retorted.  
Harrison slurped and looked down at his almost empty cup. When he looked up, everyone was staring at him.  
“Barry’s metabolism is very fast so he’ll be fine?” he spoke to his silent and attentive audience.  
“When did you get here?” Joe asked rudely.  
“He was here from the start. Jesse organized this remember?” Barry waved his hands to include all of them.  
“Yeah but why are you _here_? And what are you supposed to be?” Joe pointed at his red pointy cap. “A Christmas witch?”  
“He’ll be a wizard.” Henry corrected. “Ho Ho.” He added.  
“I’m a Gnome.” Harry tossed his disposable cup to a small bin nearby.  
“Oh don’t throw that there, I’ll have ants all over this place!” Joe picked it up and tossed it back to Harrison.  
“I’ll get rid of it.” Barry took the cup from Harrison’s hands, fingers brushing, and was back in a second of whooshing.  
Barry picked up Harrison’s fallen cap and tucked it back on his head.  
Harrison glared at him.  
Barry grinned back cheekily.  
“You could have helped me with my horns too.” Wally adjusted his headband which had gotten knocked off due to the wind as well.  
“You don’t look dressed at all.” Joe scoffed at Harrison.  
“I’m wearing brown pants, black boots, a blue tunic with belt, a red hat, I’m not wearing glasses _and_ I haven’t shaved today.”  
“It’s barely a scruff! _I_ , on the other hand, have a beard. Besides, isn’t yours supposed to be white?” Joe retorted.  
“I’m a young gnome. Not Santa.”  
“You look good.” Barry complimented from beside him. “Stubble suits you.”  
“Thank you.” Harrison looked at him. "You look ridiculous.”  
Barry rolled his eyes, “If only you had taken this costume, I wouldn’t have been stranded with it.”  
“It wouldn’t have fit me.” Harrison pulled off his cap and ran his hand through his hair. Barry pulled it from him and placed it back on his head.  
“It’s a child’s costume!”  
“Yet you seem to fit right into it.” Harrison pulled off the hat again and this time kept it away from Barry.  
“Except the height.” Wally added.  
“It’s sticking to my arms and thighs! It’s tight! And the tunic is not supposed to part halfway through my chest. It’s a _tunic_! And the pants seem more like shorts.”  
“At least you have the baby face for it.” Joe laughed causing Wally to snicker.  
“And you’re not all ribs. Lightning gave you abs didn’t it?” Harrison motioned to his abdomen.  
“It did.” Barry grinned, previous mocking forgotten.  
“You’re so skinny, it actually negates the effect.” Wally pointed out. Barry’s grin fell.  
“He does run a lot. Ho.” Henry defended.  
Just then, there was a knock on the door and Cisco and Iris entered.  
“Just what are you guys doing here? It’s almost eight.” Iris asked. “Wally!” she shrieked when she saw him ruining her make-up. “That’s enough. Downstairs! All of you! Wally, give me that handkerchief!”  
“You look great guys!” Cisco laughed as he dragged Barry with him. “I’m so going to take pictures of you all and post them on facebook! Where’s your cap Harry?”  
“It’s with me.” Barry held it up.  
“When did you nick it?” Harrison looked at his empty hands.  
“When you were talking about my abs.” Barry smirked.  
“Wait. Am I missing something here?” Cisco made a face.  
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. I’m not. Unhappy but not surprised.” Joe waddled past them and entered into the living room.  
“What are you guys talking about?” Jesse joined them, Caitlin behind her.  
“You don’t want to know.” Wally groused from beside Caitlin, Iris hovering over him with more make-up supplies.  
“But I do! Dad, what were you guys talking about? Barry? Cisco?” Jesse whirled on each of them, her hands on her hips.  
“I was lost the moment we stopped talking about my cap.” Harrison took his cap back from Barry.  
“Joe’s upset about something?” Barry looked behind at the man enjoying his eggnog and eating small candy canes with Henry.  
“Harry-Barry. Wow that sounded weird.” Cisco wrinkled his nose. “I’m going to wash my head with eggnog.” He walked away.  
“What did you two do?” Jesse looked confused.  
“Joe’s upset that I look better than him.” Harrison replied. “You’re a mistletoe?” he asked his daughter, pointing to the green plants she had wrapped around her hair and wrists.  
She beamed at him.  
“Yup” she stepped forward to hug and kiss him on the cheek. “Merry Christmas, dad.”  
She went on to repeat this with everyone. Wally blushed when she kissed his reindeer nose.  
“And you’re an angel.” Barry smiled sweetly at Iris who stepped away from Wally to hug him.  
“Don’t mention the snowflake. It’s not important.” Caitlin waved mockingly.  
“You look beautiful, Caitlin.” Caitlin grinned at Harrison and hugged him.  
“You look handsome too, Harry.”

.  
.  
.

“Will Hartley be joining us?” Harrison asked once everyone was seated around the dining table.  
“You’ve met Hartley?” Barry looked up at him from beside him on the table. Harrison gave him a bland look.  
“Have you been cloud-watching the entire past year Allen?”  
“Hartley said he’ll visit tomorrow evening.” Cisco served himself a generous amount of lasagna and roasted turkey. Everyone followed with the rest of the dishes.  
“He’s spending the Eve with his parents.” Caitlin offered with a smile. Harrison smiled back.  
“That’s great.” Barry shifted in his seat.  
“Um… how did the meeting go?” he mumbled but noticing Harrison hadn’t heard him over the cacophony of all other conversations and laughter and was in fact not looking at him anymore, nudged him in the shin with his elf boots.  
Harrison glared at him.  
“How did the meeting with Hartley go?” he asked louder.  
“You were there.” Harrison said slowly. Then, seeing Barry shifting again, his eyes widened. “Did that change from the time travel?”  
Barry shrugged sheepishly. “I don’t know how that happened. Last time around we weren’t on such good terms with him.”  
“You didn’t miss much. It was hardly memorable except perhaps his gaping and constant poking.” He took a bite of his turkey and washed it down with red wine.  
Barry made a funny face. “He poked you.”  
“Constantly.” Harrison nodded.  
“Did he say anything?” Barry asked, his discomfort obvious on his face.  
“I don’t remember the exact wording -I was trying to make sense of Ramon and Snow’s tirade -but he said something about S.T.A.R. labs and leather.”  
Barry choked.  
“Are you okay Barry?” Iris, who was sitting right to him, turned from her relentless teasing of Wally and patted him across the back.  
“What did you say to him?” Jesse asked from the seat parallel to Harrison.  
“He asked me about Hartley. Apparently his time travelling changed something.” Harrison shrugged innocently. Joe narrowed his eyes at him and when Harrison saw, he met his stare with a flat one of his own. He raised an eyebrow and the candy man looked away reluctantly. Harrison turned back to Barry who was gulping water and breathing evenly now.  
“So you knew about his fetish too.” Harrison commented once everyone was distracted again.  
Barry looked at him with wide eyes and stuttered, “Did he… did you… I mean, he was very close to Doctor… I mean, Thawne. Not that I am suggesting you are-”  
“Allen. Stop right there.”  
Barry gulped and nodded briefly but didn’t meet Harrison's eyes.  
“Look at me Allen.” Harrison ordered. “Barry.”  
When Barry still didn’t look up, Harrison kicked him under the table. Barry yelped causing Harrison to roll his eyes.  
“Barry, if you’re not feeling well, you can go to bed early.” Iris looked at him in concern.  
“No, no I’m fine.” Barry smiled briefly and turned back to his dinner, occasionally glancing at Harrison. Joe heaved a grieved sigh, Barry and Harrison didn’t speak for the rest of the dinner and Cisco watched the dynamics of the trio when he was not conversing or playing with his hair ornaments.

.  
.  
.

“Nothing happened.”  
Barry looked up from the dishes he had just washed in a flash. He slowly picked up a plate, dried it and put it in its proper place.  
“I didn’t ask if something did.” He still wasn’t looking at Harrison.  
“Did you… did he…” Harrison crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, facing Barry, who was still slowly drying the dishes a foot away from him. “I think the question was obvious.”  
“Don’t mock me.” Barry moved faster and by the time Harrison spoke again, the plates were all dried and back in place.  
“I am not.” He said softly. Barry stopped short of picking a bowl and looked Harrison in the eye.  
Harrison straightened, his left hand on the counter and took a step towards Barry. “Allen.” He started much more seriously. Barry’s heart thudded in his chest and blood rushed to his ears.  
“Barry!” Joe grinned as he entered the kitchen, startling the duo, his eyes flitting to Harrison. “I wondered what was up when you weren’t back in a few seconds. Are you still hungry Harrison?”  
Harrison stepped back and smiled tightly. “No, I just came to drink a glass of water before everyone starts singing.”  
“They’re actually about to start. Come on, Barry.” Joe motioned for Barry to follow him. Barry turned his head back looking at the utensils and only glancing at Harrison for a millisecond. “Oh don’t worry about the dishes. We’ll clear them out later. You don’t want to miss Wally and Iris singing.”  
“Yeah.” Barry followed him and only looked back when he had reached the doorway and Joe wasn’t looking at him. Harrison was, in fact, drinking water but also rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Yeah” he mumbled to himself before he was pulled into the singing crowd.  
They sang and played odd games like picking the apple with their teeth (Barry’s apple kept slipping from his mouth, especially when he used speed; Jesse, Cisco, Iris and Caitlin complained about their hair falling into their face; Henry was much the same as Barry but managed more apples; Joe, Wally and Harrison had a tough competition. Wally won.), a frog race (from which Barry was exempted. Caitlin ended up twisting her ankle very early in the race. Henry, who had stayed out, took care of Caitlin with Barry’s help. And surprisingly enough, Harrison won the race.  
“You cheated!” Cisco protested. “You’re old! There’s no way you won the race.”  
“Dad works out every morning.” Jesse defended. “And he used to be in the military.”  
“Military?” Joe asked, his eyes fixed on Harrison.  
“I was a conscript in the war.”  
“Jay mentioned a war of Americans.” Barry unconsciously leaned towards Harrison.  
“The very same.”  
“Just how old were you?” Iris asked.  
“Nineteen”)  
And a few other games. By around an hour past midnight, half of them were asleep on their feet.  
Harrison scooped Caitlin up in his arms and led her with a very tired Jesse and Iris to Iris’ room. Cisco was passed out on the floor, mouth open and drooling. Wally and Joe dragged him into Joe’s room which was downstairs compared to Iris’ and Barry’s rooms.  
“I’ll take the couch. You and Harrison can stay with Barry.” Henry said to Joe.  
“No Henry. Harrison can share room with Cisco and Wally. The girls are sharing one room. There’s space for him. You stay with Barry. I’ll take the couch.”  
“There’s no need.” Harrison said as he entered the room. Barry was the first one to look up.  
“Pardon?” Joe raised an eyebrow.  
“I am going back to the labs. Cisco and Caitlin can bring Jesse back tomorrow morning.” Harrison shook hands with Henry Allen and nodded to Joe.  
“I’ll take you.” Barry offered when Harrison reached the door.  
“Barry, we know you’re tired.” Joe protested.  
“There’s no need, Allen.” Harrison seemed to be on the same page at Joe.  
“No way. I’m not having you getting kidnapped again.” Barry said as he pulled on a jacket over his costume. Harrison rolled his eyes.  
“You do realize I’m double your age?”  
“I do.”

.  
.  
.

Harrison tightened his hands on Barry’s shoulders just as Barry stopped into his room. Barry let go of his waist as soon as Harrison was stable on his feet.  
“You can leave Allen.” Harrison said when Barry was still hovering after he had taken care of his footwear and belt. The tunic lay open in the front revealing some of his white skin.  
“B-Back in the kitchen.” Barry forced his eyes to meet Harrison’s. “You were saying something.”  
“I was.” Harrison agreed but made no other move. This time, Barry stepped towards him until they were inches apart, like they had been earlier.  
“Harry…” He said softly, eyes glazed and flickering to his lips. Harrison leaned forward, nose brushing along his cheek.  
“Barry.” His voice was a low growl. “You’re smoking.”  
Barry jumped back and looked at his clothes and shoes. There was no smoke.  
Harrison laughed, for the first time that day, perhaps even in months. It was for the first time in front of Barry at least.  
Barry gaped at him, unsure of how to react for a moment, before he spluttered, “You-you did that on purpose!” he pointed an accusing finger at him.  
“Your need to state the obvious to process the situation astounds me Allen.”  
“You know, Cisco is right. You’re a dick!” Barry grabbed the folds of his tunic and pressed his lips harshly to his. Whatever Harrison was about to retort to that was lost between their lips.  
Harrison cupped the base of Barry’s skull, fingers threading through small, soft hair. His other hand was wrapped around his waist and was pressing Barry tight against him.  
“Barry…” Harrison spoke against his lips, pulling away slightly.  
Barry followed the movement. “Shh” he hushed, his fingers pressing onto Harry’s lips for a moment before their lips met again. “The scruff stings.” Barry murmured and traced Harry’s smile with his tongue.  
“I can shave.” Harrison said, destroying Barry’s almost perfect rotation.  
“That won’t be necessary.” Barry pressed his lips to Harry’s in a peck before dragging him to the bathroom.  
“You realize…” Harrison started once Barry had shaved him in an instant. “Your foster father won’t be happy with either of us. No one will be.”  
Barry glared at him. “You really need to stop talking.”  
“I’m your father’s age Barry and it is my resp-” Barry shoved him back till Harrison was sitting on the bed. Barry tilted his head up and kissed him, sucking his lips harder than was probably appropriate for any kiss, let alone their first.  
“We’re both adults.” Barry panted when he pulled away.  
“I’d still feel better if you…” Barry kissed him again. “Allen, I’m serious.” Harrison placed a hand on Barry’s covered abdomen and pushed him back. “I’d feel better if Joe isn’t hunting me down. I have had enough of the chase with Zoom. Now get your ass back home, make sure they know you’re asleep and then come back.”  
Barry grinned at him and kissed him again, this time much lightly than before.  
“Go Allen.” Harrison murmured into his mouth.

.  
.  
.

“Joe suspects something happened.” Barry said at three in the morning.  
“He’s been suspecting something for a while now.” Harrison unknotted the strings holding Barry’s breeches up. “Where did you get _breeches_ of all things and why?”  
“I don’t know. Iris picked them for you.”  
“She should have just left them.”  
“Jesse threatened her for an elf costume.”  
“They could have simply asked Ramon for one. I’m sure he could make it in a day, probably even better than this.” Harrison pulled at the strings causing Barry to groan.  
“It’s tight as it is.” Barry complained. Harrison hummed and dragged his fingers over Barry’s hipbone and traced the edge of the cloth covering him.  
“You’re not wearing undergarments are you?” Harrison widened the space between his legs and pulled Barry forward with the strings till Harrison’s mouth pressed against his belly button. Barry breathed in shuddered gasps, his body trembling as his fingers threaded through Harrison’s hair.  
“How-how did you know?” his voice vibrated.  
“Your outline.” Harrison mumbled against his trembling skin. “I pay attention.” He kissed the edge of Barry’s pants. Barry’s fingers tightened in his hair. “You should be grateful Joe was paying more attention to me tonight because this?” Harrison ran his index finger over the bulge in Barry’s pants. “This is very hard to miss. I have no idea how you managed to sit through all the singing and games with that.”  
“Like you weren’t hard.” Barry scoffed but his voice still came out unsure.  
“I was.” Harrison looked him in the eyes, hands stroking his hips. “I am. I couldn’t possibly sleep in the same house knowing all that. And.” Harrison’s expression turned stern. “I wasn’t actually planning on this happening.”  
Barry smiled, his eyes softening as he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair. “I know.” He whispered, then leaned down and kissed him. “Do get on with it.” Barry said as he pulled back. “These are rented. I don’t want to come in them.”  
Harrison hummed against his skin. “Buy them Barry the Elf.” Harrison pulled off the string and pushed the pants down.  
“Only if you keep the cap Harry the Gnome.” Barry grinned, climbing onto his lap and straddling him before pulling him into a kiss again. Harrison grabbed his rear and the nape of his neck to keep him in place as he shifted behind and fell on his back.

.  
.  
.

The next evening as the S.T.A.R. labs colleagues opened their presents together Cisco lept from his seat and shouted, “I know!” Everyone sans Jesse (who was out with Wally teaching him how to print photographs) looked up.  
“What now?” Hartley whined, not happy to be distracted from thoroughly crushing his enemy on his shiny new chess set (or getting crushed).  
“Barrison2!”  
“What’s that?” Barry asked, his head tilted innocently. Caitlin, confused as well, furrowed her eyebrows.  
Hartley gaped at Cisco before turning his gaping to Harrison who was running his hand through his hair. “Thank God Jesse isn’t here.” His enemy in chess muttered. 

**Author's Note:**

> Too much sugar, lack of sleep, Christmas carols and Tumblr are to blame for this insanity. Now, this was supposed to only be humor but a little porn hurts no one, does it? I was going to bring in the Snarts as well (because what's sexier than Harry with a gun?) but it was getting too long-winded so I cut that off.  
> I don't think I mentioned Cisco's costume explicitly, so readers, readers, who've read this fiction, what is he?


End file.
